personal

silence

I could not imagine Tokyo being this quiet. It has been Golden Week, the longish Japanese spring holiday, and with traveling out of the question and shops and parks closed, people seem to have been quietly staying at home; streets almost empty and only a few trucks on the nearby highway. I woke up early …

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a piece of the past

While we were wondering what kind of world our baby will grow up in, a delivery came – a piece of the past had found its way to our doorstep (actually our genkan, but never mind…). A few weeks ago I tried to send a postcard to Sweden – these days that is not possible, and apparently …

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花見

The beauty of Japan is never more clearly manifested than in the weeks of cherry blossom blooming. Normally I would cherish this time, be outside as much as possible, visit beautiful spots, take a train to the mountains, have picknick with my wife in a park, but this year everything is different. This weekend we …

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toilet paper

There is no typhoon to blame this time. There is no end in sight. No date, no prognosis, no nothing, except for uncertainty that spreads quicker than the Corona virus. And fear. I sense fear around me as well as inside – there is no typhoon, nothing we can see. Just questions, wondering if the …

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maternity photo

There is normally not much vacation for people in Japan. This I do not like. But on the other hand there is a lot of red days scattered around the year, making long weekends something of a not so unusual golden lining to everyday life. This I love. So Monday was day off. Sunday was …

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living in a dream

I really feel like I am living in a dream. When I think of my life three years ago, having just started to study Japanese in Sweden, wanting to be able to better communicate with my nieces.… Meeting all the little kids in my family had become my source of joy those days, and I was …

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grey hair

On the train today we managed to get a seat for my wife. I find that holding her bag with the maternity badge up in front of me increases the chance of someone obliging, offering their seat to my wife. So my wife was sitting and I stood in front of her, looking at her. …

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december

December is always so special. Winter is coming, the beautiful autumn colors are replaced by beautiful trees filled with LED-lamps. In Omotesando the lights in the trees are even dancing to music – it is easy to sense the magic of being alive in a beautiful part of the world. The cool air, the lights, …

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wax dolls

My wife says I am a professional shufu. Even though I do not really have proper training and often I feel like a true beginner. But of course I am a beginner – everything here in Japan is so different from what I am used to from Sweden. But at the same time it is …

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autumn beauty

Autumn is my favourite season in Japan. Cool mornings and beautiful air. And the autumn colors – I love going to the mountains in autumn. Well, I always like to go to the mountains, I would love to live in the mountains, but especially so during autumn. There is something liberating walking on a mountainside …

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never more

Never more. Today was a nevermore-day, a day I only want to forget. And at the same time a day I really need to remember. Nevermore-days I have reluctantly come to find, are the steppingstones towards a future where I am trying to renew myself, to become a hopefully better version of the human I …

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