shufu

non-essential person

Is this the new normal now? To be afraid of people, to see a city shut down. When going to the supermarket I felt like I was in the middle of a zombie-movie. And I really do not like those – a half deserted town with stores closed and where people are slowly walking, hiding …

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お疲れさま

Tokyo is under state of emergency and my wife is on maternity leave from today – a beautiful symmetry in the middle of all worry and despair. She has dutifully been going to the office, taking great care to stay as safe as possible. お疲れさま my love. Now finally our maternity leave begins and we …

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pasteries and empty shelves

What has happened? If I had stepped out of the door after just having woken up from a two months’ sleep, I would not have known there was a pandemic going on. The supermarket was as crowded as before, there was a queue outside the café, there were too many people outside the station. Have …

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apples

Apples. I do not eat apples. I am allergic to apples. I like apples but I cannot eat them. They mess with my stomach. Last time I ate apples was in Sweden, I was invited to potato salad. And when I tasted apple in it, I was too coward to leave the potato salad on …

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living in a dream

I really feel like I am living in a dream. When I think of my life three years ago, having just started to study Japanese in Sweden, wanting to be able to better communicate with my nieces.… Meeting all the little kids in my family had become my source of joy those days, and I was …

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today I am angry

Today is my birthday. And I am angry. I am sure there is some connection, but today I am just… I am simply angry, angry at people. And a little bit at my wife too. Those morning commutes on an overly surrealistically crowded train, where young people sit on priority seats, sleeping, playing games, ignoring …

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wax dolls

My wife says I am a professional shufu. Even though I do not really have proper training and often I feel like a true beginner. But of course I am a beginner – everything here in Japan is so different from what I am used to from Sweden. But at the same time it is …

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washing machine rant

Ok, it was inevitable that someday I would write about my number one complaint with Japan (come to think of it I actually have a few, but let me focus on this one for now). It was inevitable and apparently today is that day. In the train station there is a new commercial for washing machines …

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autumn beauty

Autumn is my favourite season in Japan. Cool mornings and beautiful air. And the autumn colors – I love going to the mountains in autumn. Well, I always like to go to the mountains, I would love to live in the mountains, but especially so during autumn. There is something liberating walking on a mountainside …

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on habits

When does something become a habit? After one time? Hardly. Two times? Three? Five or ten? Does it even matter? Not really I think – it is all about feelings. So when I feel like it has become a habit to every night prepare the rice for the morning. And then in the morning make …

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never more

Never more. Today was a nevermore-day, a day I only want to forget. And at the same time a day I really need to remember. Nevermore-days I have reluctantly come to find, are the steppingstones towards a future where I am trying to renew myself, to become a hopefully better version of the human I …

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on rinsing rice

There is something very meditative in the process of rinsing rice; it is like time slows down, just me and the bowl, experiencing the cold water between my fingers, letting the rice rattle around, feeling the grains touching my skin. And repeating the process, rinse wash rinse – there is something very meditative about rinsing …

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