on clarity

Today, the air seemed unusually clear; like the mountains in the distance suddenly had moved closer to Tokyo. But then, clarity always has that special power of cutting distances in halves, breaching voids that previously seemed unbreachable. A clear thought, untainted by the past, open to all possibilities, unattached to a predetermined outcome, connected to the pure essence of feeling without fear, has power beyond infinity – that is how it feels sometimes. When fear is a faint memory and the mountains feel closer than ever before. I live for those moments, when life presents itself like a miracle, undisguised. 

We saw our baby again. Our baby boy! Our miracle. I talk to him every day, every evening when I lotion my wife’s stomach with special pregnancy body cream. Oh, those clear moments when distances are absent and the present is our future moving his little legs, kicking and boxing and stretching, preparing for life in this world. That is what I wish for our baby – the ability to see clearly, unclouded by my and my wife’s history of weakness. 

So much clarity we would need, so much strength and humility to not pass on our shortcomings to you. May we learn from them instead, and give you, our miracle, a bed of beauty to rest on days when the air is clear. And a pillow of comfort when you close your eyes those days when there seem to be no beauty at all.

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