don’t forget to be happy

My grandmother would have been 100 years old today; how she would have loved to know about the transformation of my life. So much that has changed. So much to be happy about. Don’t forget to be happy too, I keep saying to myself. Early morning we went to our new hospital, and for the first time I could see you move on the little screen. Your little heart was beating fast fast fast. Just the right amount of fast – so much to be happy about. So much to worry about. Don’t forget to be happy too, I keep saying to myself; so easy for worries to take over. Maybe that is why it takes nine months. To give parents time to prepare, so that when a child is born all there is is love, care and a well grounded appropriate way to deal with all the worry that inevitably will arise, if not every day, far too often. I will try my love, I will try.

1,6 cm tall. Or maybe long? So adorably cute you are – your little arms and legs. All day I kept looking at the prints from the ultrasound. You are lying there, in a heart shaped treasure chest. So much to be happy about; my wife wanted pasta for dinner. I made cream pasta – my wife loves cream pasta; I think cream pasta is ok for the baby. I used a lot of spinach and tomatoes and mushrooms too. Pasta is ok right? Don’t forget to be happy too, I can hear my grandmother saying to me. 

I cannot eat pasta tonight, my wife said.

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