young trauma

With eight teeth in his mouth it had become time for our son’s first visit to the dentist. We had a very good image of our chosen dental clinic – it is a children’s only clinic and we had to wait almost two months for our appointment since it is very popular with so many good online reviews. So while my wife and I were a bit nervous to go, especially since we both have bad dental experiences from when we were young, we felt that this would be a very safe and warm place for our son.

Since our son was six months old and got his first tooth, we have been using a toothbrush trying to make him comfortable with his parents touching his month, brushing his teeth. It has been a uphill battle with our son turning his head away or pushing away our hands all the time, and only when we have been letting him play with our mobile phones, has he let us brush his teeth a little. So finally coming to the dentist we were very anxious to get proper professional advice on how to do now that he is getting more and more teeth and taking care of his dental health feels very important.

The waiting room was very busy, and the screaming of children in examination rooms very loud, so while we waited standing in a corner we had plenty of time to get a bit more nervous. When it became our turn a dental hygienist took us to a small room for an introductory talk and our son was happily playing with a toothbrush all the time and my wife and I started to feel a bit relaxed about the situation. So when after the introductory talk it became time to check and clean our sons teeth, we were walking into the examination room with relatively light feet. I was instructed to have our son lying down on my knees with his head in the dental hygienist’s lap; that’s when the crying started. We had never seen such an unhappy face on our baby before and seeing his distress, seeing the medical professional holding his head with a sharp dental probe in his mouth, all I could do was to talk to him with my warmest voice, holding my hand on his stomach.

When finished our little baby hugged me tighter than ever before and did not seems to be able to stop sobbing. We canceled the promised lesson in how to brush his teeth – this was more than enough for one day. You really need to brush his teeth even more thoroughly, the hygienist said. Then could you please tell us in words how we should do, I said. Well, he should lie down on the floor with his head between your legs and his arms under your legs. Then he cannot move and then you can lift his lips with one hand and see and brush with the other.

On the way home it did not take one minute before our son fell asleep in the car, not letting go of my thumb. The next day we thought he was back to his normal self again; that was until we were going to brush his teeth. This time even my iPhone would not let me come close to his mouth with the toothbrush and we acutely felt that we had taken two steps back instead of one step forward. The following days we have been trying and trying to make toothbrushing if not fun so at least endurable again, but still we have a long way to go before we even reach the level of trust with our son that we had before going to the dentist. Maybe we are overthinking it, maybe this is a step that most children go through when becoming acquainted with the dental care profession, but the one ting we feel sure about is that we will not let this become a lasting trauma for our son and using force is the most sure way to make that impossible. So however long it takes we will try to keep our patience and hopefully little by little receive our sons trust and cooperation so that he can have clean teeth without feeling forced.

And now we are left with a big question mark regarding if we in good conscience can go back there in December for the next appointment; or is this an experience we will have repeated no matter where we take our son? I so wish we would not need to answer that question.