Kindergarten. Daycare. Dagis. Hoikuen. Many names. Many experiences. My wife have happy joyful memories of when she was a little little child, going to hoikuen. She had friends, she learned a lot; consequently she wants our son to experience the same happiness that she did. I on the other hand have sad painful memories from dagis, and have difficulty finding a good image for leaving our little boy at such a place. Surprisingly, balancing our diametrically opposite experiences with regards to our son became easier than we had expected. With the pandemic having limited our son’s encounters with other children, both me and my wife thought it a good idea for him to start meeting friends now that we have moved away from Tokyo and are ready to start our new life in the outskirts of Fukuoka. So the compromise came naturally – we opted for is what in Japan is called 一時保育, literally meaning one hour childcare.
There is a beautifully situated hokiuen a ten minute walk from our house, and when we went there for an interview with our baby, they said they were happy to let our son come a few mornings every week to be together with the regular hoikuen children. In Sweden, before leaving a child at daycare for the first time, there would be a period when the parent(s) come with the child and stay a while before going home together again, so that the child gradually get used to the new environment in the presence of a parent. In Japan, I abruptly learned when we came the first morning, the teacher seems to take the baby and walk away. That first morning our son was a bit bewildered and excited and was happy to go with the sensei. Oh, I thought, maybe he will like it here from day one. How wrong was I…
The next time we came, when he saw sensei’s stretch out arms, our little baby grabbed hold of me hard hard and showed with his whole little but very strong body that he did not want to do this at all. But the teacher just came and took him in her arms and carried him away to the room with the other little ones. Our son was crying like I almost have not heard him cry before, and a big part of me just wanted to rush into the room and grab him and never let him go again. Somehow though, while hugging each other me and my wife managed to leave, and when I came to pick him up a few hours later he through himself into my arms, sobbing.
Sensei said that while he had been crying a bit, he had been happy most of the time, playing outside, and he had had a good nap. Although I cannot help but fear a bit for the next time we will leave him there, I take comfort in my wife’s confidence that he will soon get used to it. Our baby likes other people and is very curious about other children. And I see so much of my wife in him so despite his crying I still manage to keep a positive image. I hope that is true one week from now as well.
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